PRESENTATION

 "ad illa mittamus animum, quae aeterna sunt" Seneca

One of my favourite scenes in the history of cinema is in the Samurai trilogy, whereof the third is no doubt the best. There is a moment in which Miyamoto Musashi is talking with some disciples, who are demanding more training in swordsmanship from their master. But Miyamoto answers that they will learn swordsmanship by working the land. It was brilliant.

We could profit much from this idea. For example: I have understood some features of polish language thanks to latin, and some features of latin through turkish. I understand martial arts and painting like a language. By painting I understood much of philosophy, and naked observation alone can lead us to science. I wish I could gather all knowledge, all arts, all bodily activities without having to choose between them. I hate to choose, I hate having to prioritize the various projects I endeavour to undertake. But it's the sole nature of our very existence that we ought to choose, for we are facing scarcity: both in time, space, and matter.

The whole science of economics is built upon this rock, that we choose --and why and how we choose to do what we choose is the subject of economics and, on a deeper level, psychology. A person who knows to prioritize, who knows what's best for him/ her --these are successful, and rightly so. I never learned how to sacrifice, and for this I have undone myself. I can't say no, I can't turn my back on something I want. This fear of having to sacrifice something in order to achieve something else is projected everywhere. I can see it in my love life, I can see it in my academic career, in my paintings, in my films and in everything that I set out to do, regardless of what is it. The result is that I'm mediocre in every task I busy myself with. I'm not a filmmaker, I'm no polyglot, no painter and no historian. I'm lost on road leading nowhere, with no loyalty to anybody, disciple to no master, unfit for any school of thought or science, unbeliver to any god. I wander the jungle of my own failures, finding solace in the made-up idea that I'm devoted to things not worldly but eternal, like the philosophers of old --devoted to knowledge itself (philo-sophia) and not to a certain knowledge.

There's no virtue in learning so many disciplines when the will and the passion behind it all is the outcome of a vice. Can my polymathy redeem the weakness that it itself dissembles? That's up to the reader to determine, I'm myself no judge nor I'm awaiting any judgement but death's.